So it struck me today: In a little more than a week I get to meet my son for the first time. When I left, way back in February, he was a paperweight that leaked. He was warm and soft, light and sweet. And for a baby his level of fuss was well-below what I deal with at work.
Now I get to meet the actual Donovan. I get to hold him, and watch him react. I get to see him play with things, try to crawl, and play with his sister. I get to watch him smile, and cry, and be grumpy and happy and sad.
I am beside myself with excitement. Until that thought crossed my mind I was antsy to get home. To get back to my daughter and beautiful wife and house where I could walk around without pants and where I could buy a burger or a beer on a whim.
Genevieve is the spark in my heart that carries me through the coldest, most annoying, and loneliest days I have while I am away. Her smiles, and pouts, and moments on Skype are the shadows of her that remind me of the two wonderful years we spent together. They are like grains of rice to a starving man and I will probably annoy her to no end when it comes time to hold her again.
But Van. Smiley little, Baby Huey-looking, wobbly kneed boy who adores his sister and everyone can’t stop gushing about: I get to meet him for real. I get to hold him, annoy him, feed him and clean his poop. How awesome is that?
Now every day moves a little slower for me. The lead-up to my leave is crushing me as I wait to hold them all in my arms. It was like my singular thought was a straw that broke this camel’s back. What’s the old joke? Time is relative, that’s why spending time with them seems to drag on forever? Well I am already spending time in my mind. I don’t know what to expect. I am about to go from “strange glowy box man” to “guy who is glomming on mommy and stealing precious sister-time from me.”
Not to get all Freudian here, but there is another man in the family and I am about to turn his little apple-cart on its head (at least for a month). How awesome is that? I feel for the guy, really I do. So here I sit, thinking about him and Eve and Char constantly, and I can’t believe how long I have been away and how long I have to go before I see them. Eight days and Six months seem the same in my mind.
It’s going to be great.